It’s been 10 months since my molar pregnancy, my numbers went down as they should, and I was still on monthly blood checks. When December rolled around we knew the doctor was going to tell us we were in the clear. We could start trying for a baby, if we’d like.
But, we jumped the gun a little bit and on December 11th I had a positive home pregnancy test. We were beyond excited and slightly cautious. The doctor kept a very close eye on me with blood work and ultrasounds. Everything was progressing as it should. At 7 weeks I had a ultrasound and we heard the beautiful heartbeat, at 164 beats per minute.
I was feeling the normal morning sickness, queasiness and tiredness. DT was for sure it was a baby girl. The boys we so excited to be big brothers, though, they insisted it was both a boy and girl twins.
Well, this Wednesday I had another ultrasound at almost 10 weeks, to discover no heartbeat. The baby had died somewhere between 8 1/2- 9 weeks.
It’s so difficult not to be completely devastated by this, but I am trying to focus on the blessings I do have. The most important blessings, two wonderfully healthy, loving, and beautiful boys, and a strong, happy, and loving marriage.
It’s really hard to write this, because though it is much different than the molar pregnancy, I feel like, here I am again, writing about this loss……
I was so hoping today to share the exciting news of a new baby in our lives with numerous ultrasound pictures and gushing about how happy we are to be expecting our new bundle in August.
I found this wonderful quote the other day.
“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain there would be no rainbow.” ~G. K. Chesterton
I don’t know if this is where the term rainbow baby came from, but it brings me comfort to know that maybe one day we will get our rainbow.
Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers during this trying time for us. I miss you all and hope to be back soon.
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